One day a boy comes home from school and says, “Dad, I really need to know the meaning of hypothetically and realistically for school. The father replies, “Go ask your mother if she would sleep with another man for 1 million dollars. The little boy [...]
One day 3 guys got stranded on an island, and they were captured by cannibals. They begged for their lives, and the king cannibal said, “Ok I’ll give you 2 trials. I’ll tell you the first one now and the second one later. The first one is pick 10 fruits [...]
A young couple, just married, were in their hotel honeymoon suite, on their wedding night. As they were undressing for bed, the husband who was a big burly man tossed his pants to his bride and said, “Here, put these on. She put them on and the waist was twice [...]
There was an old whore from the Azores, Who’s cunt was so covered with sores, That the dogs in the street, Wouldn’t eat the green meat, That hung from festoons in her drawers. There once was a rector from Kings, Who’s mind was on Heavenly things, But his heart [...]
Two necrophiliacs are at work in the morgue. One of them turns to the other and says, “You should have seen this woman they brought in last week. They pulled her out of the water after she’d been there for three weeks. Man, I’m tellin’ you, her clit was just like [...]
But everybody looks funny naked! You woke me up for that? Did I mention the video camera? Do you smell something burning? A little rug burn never hurt anyone!
During the past year, I have attempted to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of only once every 10 days. The following is a list of why I didn’t succeed more often: We will wake the kids – 54 times It’s too late [...]
A 70 year old man went to his doctor’s office to get a sperm count. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, “Take this jar home and bring me back a sample tomorrow. The next day the 70 year old man reappears at the doctor’s office and gives [...]
Mom and dad? and she replied, “they’re up in bed. The little boy started to giggle and ate his breakfast and went out to play. Then he came back in for lunch and asked his grandma “where’s Mom and Dad? and she replied “they’re still up in bed.
Man walks into a bar and orders six double bourbons and the barman asks the man what his troubles were. No troubles”, said the customer “In fact I am celebrating”. Celebrating what? asked the barman. I have just had my first blowjob”.
