A group of girlfriends went on vacation and saw a five-story hotel with a sign that read, “For Women Only. Since they were without their boyfriends, they decided to go in. The Bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. We have 5 floors. go up [...]
But everybody looks funny naked! You woke me up for that? Did I mention the video camera? Do you smell something burning? A little rug burn never hurt anyone!
Mexican food is not the cause of gonorrhea. 2. There is no need for dice in role playing. 3. Intercourse doesn’t happen on a highway. 4. If you engage in oral sex first, it’s not called a head start. 5. If she says she’s into “bondage,” [...]
During the past year, I have attempted to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of only once every 10 days. The following is a list of why I didn’t succeed more often: We will wake the kids – 54 times It’s too late [...]
A dirty blind man visits his doctor for a routine check-up and everything seems fine. The doctor asks him about his sex life. Well. the man drawled, “not bad at all to be honest. The wife ain’t all that interested anymore, so I just cruise around.
A farmer buys several pigs, hoping to breed them for ham, bacon, etc. After several weeks, he notices that none of the pigs are getting pregnant, and calls a vet for help. The vet tells the farmer that he should try artificial insemination. The farmer doesn’t have the slightest idea [...]
A 70 year old man went to his doctor’s office to get a sperm count. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, “Take this jar home and bring me back a sample tomorrow. The next day the 70 year old man reappears at the doctor’s office and gives [...]
Labrador retrievers, chocolate, yellow, and black, are sitting in the waiting room at the vet’s office when they strike up a conversation. The black lab turns to the chocolate and says, “So why are you here? The chocolate lab replies, “I’m a pisser. I [...]
A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which read: Cheese Sandwich: $1.50 Chicken Sandwich: $2.50 Hand Job: $10.00 Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks to an eager-looking [...]
Chicago, a gentleman had made several attempts to get into the men’s restroom, but it had always been occupied. The flight attendant noticed his predicament. Sir, she said, “You may us the ladies room if you promise not to touch any of the buttons on the wall. He did what [...]
