The wife asked. Well, I bought you a 10 inch dildo and me a dime sized hairy pussy pumper. She smiled in total excitement. Snatching the dildo from his hand she began ridding the toy like it was a carnival ride. She was so happy with her new toy that he told her were he bought it.

He enjoyed his toy also. The husband made more visits to the sex shop, but never came home with anything. Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and asked his wife during a recent lovemaking session, “How come you never tell me when you have an orgasm? She glanced at him casually and replied, “You’re never home!”

We have wild sex all night! Is that right? said Ethel. Well, then, I’m going to try that tonight! That evening, while Ethel’s husband is in the bathroom getting ready for bed, she takes off all her clothes.

And although it’s a struggle, she manages to get one leg up and behind her head. With some effort, she finally gets the other leg behind her head as well. No sooner has she accomplished this great feat, Ethel falls backwards and can’t move. It’s not too long before her husband comes out of the bathroom. With a shocked look on his face, he yells “For God’s sake, Ethel, comb your hair and put your teeth in, you look like an asshole!”