To My Dearest Wife
During the past year, I have attempted to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of only once every 10 days. The following is a list of why I didn’t succeed more often: We will wake the kids – 54 times It’s too late – 15 times I’m too tired – 42 times It’s too early – 12 times It’s too hot – 18 times Pretending to be asleep – 31 times The neighbors will hear – 9 times Headache or backache – 26 times Sunburn – 10 times Your mother will hear us – 9 times Not in the mood – 21 times Watching the late show – 17 times Too sore – 26 times New hairdo – 6 times Wrong time of the month – 14 times You had to go to the bathroom – 19 times Of the 36 times that I DID succeed, the result was not always satisfying because 6 times you just laid there, 8 times you reminded me that there was a crack in the ceiling, 4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with, 7 times I had to wake you up to tell you I was finished, and once I was afraid that I had hurt you because you started thrashing around and breathing heavy. Let’s try to improve this, shall we? Love, Your Hubby
Tags: 26 times, 36 times, Wake
Related entries:
